Wednesday, April 8, 2009

"Before I Was a Mom" list

Photo credit: Florentijn Hofman

Scary Mommy has a terrific list going today: all the things one should appreciate BEFORE one has offspring. I had so much fun with it that I decided to create an offshoot list of my own.
If you are considering having children (even if it's imminent), take the time to read these lists and savor the delights that will disappear while you're experiencing the delights of parenting.

1. Eat Girl Scout Cookies. Once your kids are old enough to recognize the boxes, the chance of getting a Samoa for yourownself is pretty tiny.

2. The thing that surprised me most about having offspring was the degree of vulnerability that ensued. Once you have a kid, anyone can wreck your mind or your life through your children. This makes us strong but is also terrifying. Be invincible while you can!

3. Take a bath. A real bath. With scent and bubbles and a book and everything. Once the kids are born, you'll have to wait a LONG time to get another uninterrupted and without toys or small bodies or demands for Girl Scout Cookies being foisted upon you.

4. Go braless.

5. Enjoy the ability to make a decision - any decision - without second-guessing yourself.

6. Appreciate your internal organs. “Hello, spleen, you’re right where you’re supposed to be, aren’t you? Thanks!” “Good Morning, sciatic nerve! You are lovely and uncompressed and unhindered today, ain’t it grand?” Once the kid leaves the womb, things shift - and that shifting is not confined to your breasts and abdomen.

7. Brush your hair and appreciate its shine and color.

8. Don't wait until you can afford to have kids. Put the spreadsheet away. Your parents couldn't afford to have kids, your grandparents couldn't afford to have kids, and somehow they managed just fine (mostly).

Thanks, Scary Mommy, for a bit of inspiration this morning!


  1. Great list. Isn't funny how after having kids we would trade all of these things 50 times over for the little boogers, but we still miss them....

  2. Ohhhhh, love your list. I totally agree about the bath--- I used to LOVE those endless, warm soaks. Now the tub is filled with rubber duckies and children. I can't remember the last time I was actually in it! Thanks for playing along!! :)

  3. These made me chuckle...and I nodded in agreement with #2 and #5. So true!!